Follow me on Blogarama I walk a fine line. Skip to main content

I walk a fine line.

Y'all, it's been a rough couple of weeks. Like, ugly crying rough.

I walk a knife blade. I tend to lean towards one side, getting eyeball to eyeball with the anxiety monster. Sometimes she blinks, sometimes I do. But, lately I've fallen on the other side, in the dark forest of depression. I've got demons there to keep me company, but am not suited for this battle. 
An old demon coming in for a hug.
Yup. 
Watching the destruction in Australia reminded me of how small I am and made me feel so useless. I saw the pictures of animals dead or dying, hearing of how entire species have been wiped out. Then, the Puerto Rico Earthquake happened. Then, Corona Virus hits. And, on top of everything, the Impeachment trial happened. Regardless of which side you are on, we have a problem with division in our country and it does have a direct effect on our psyches. All in all, everything I was doing on a regular basis felt empty. I generally enjoy my job, but doing my daily tasks when the world is literally on fire felt, well, stupid. 

Isn't it awesome?
To make matters worse, my accountabil-a-buddy was out of commission. My husband got the raddest tattoo, and took time off from the gym to let it heal. Then, he got stuck with the flu. When depression hits, the best thing to do it work out and get some endorphins going. Unfortunately, it's also the hardest thing. Without Husband pushing me to get out there, it was really easy to climb into bed after work and not get back up until the next morning. 


Feeling cute after an ass-whopping on the bags.
But, the bell jar is lifting. This past week has been exponentially better. I've refocused my efforts on my diet. I'm trying a new strategy and have already seen some results (more to come, if the streak continues). I realized that my exercise routine (three days on, one day to rest), wasn't working for my schedule and have re-evaluated my goals. I donated to an Australian relief charity (link below). I'm getting better educated in politics, but this is a health blog, and that's a story for another time. 

 The moral of the story is that life is hard. $#!7 is going to happen. It's how you deal with it that matters.      

 January may have knocked me down, but I'm not tapping out. 

 To help animals in Australia please consider donating below:
Humane Society International

 If you also feel like you are in the depths of the depression forest and can't find your way out, please let this be your pinpoint of light:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
I've been stuck in places where happiness beyond comprehension, but remember there is always hope. Darkness isn't permanent. 

 For your own super cool tattoo, go visit the team at The Gilded Mermaid here in Charleston. Lil' Round worked with my husband, but the entire crew is incredibly talented.
https://www.facebook.com/pg/gildedmermaid/about/

 Photo Credits: 
Etienne Marais
https://www.pexels.com/@etienne-marais-54779

 AshutoshSonwani
https://www.pexels.com/@ashutoshsonwani
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spinach and Muscle Growth

Yum, spinach! It’s one of my favorites and a staple in my house. I like to use it as a base for smoothies, salads, and wraps. Occasionally, I do cook it, but only enough so that is turns an even brighter shade of green. My kitten is a fan too, insisting that I give her a leaf whenever I open the bag. Spinach is thought to have originated in Persia and is in the same family as both beets and quinoa (which make for a fantastic veggie bowl, but that's a post for a different day). From Persia, the vegetable traveled to India and then to China, where it was known simply as “Persian Vegetable.” Spinach moved westward, gaining popularity in Europe as it was a vegetable that grew quickly in the early spring.  This Provided a welcome break in the monotony of winter stores.  Most people associate spinach with Popeye. That famous Sailor Man inhaled his canned leafy greens making his muscles explode as he saved Olive Oyl time and time again. As a result, spinach sales during W...
4 comments
Read more

Eat Away Depression

I watched a pharmaceutical commercial for a new anti-depressant that you take when your existing anti-depressant isn't working. This new pill is a supplement to the existing one, so two anti-depressants. As someone who has been on medication to regulate my brain, this doesn't jive with me. We know that food can be used to cure a lot of our physical ailments, such as a bowl of soup when we have a cold. But, there is emerging science about using food to help us with our  mental health .  Magnesium mmmm...Chocolate... Magnesium does a LOT. This mineral is responsible for ensuring that your heart beats normally, helps keep your immune system strong, and creates energy and protein. Over 100 years ago, it was discovered that it can also help with depression. Eat almonds, pumpkin seeds, dark chocolate and kale for an extra punch of magnesium in your diet.  Vitamin D 🎶You are my sunshine, my only sunshine! You make me happy when skies are gray!🎶  emojis...
1 comment
Read more

Failure and the Half Marathon Obstacle Race

I failed at my goal yesterday.  I give it as much as I could, but couldn’t reach the finish line. It was raining and cold. I had been walking in mud for the last 11 miles straight. My shoes were just mud puddles strapped to my feet weighing down my legs, my clothes were sopped and mud-caked. I made many of the obstacles I didn’t think I would. I had to burpee out at some of the ones I thought I would fly through. But I was on the verge of bonking without food and ill prepared for the cold. I think I could have gone a little further, but my teammate was completely bonked, could hardly stand, and was on the verge of hypothermia. I could have gone on a little further, and maybe could have made the finish line with that coveted medal. But, without my team mate, it would have cost my soul. Overall, I do feel a little pride for everything I did. It was hard, harder than I thought. I may be sad today and time may blur how bad the conditions were, how uncomfortable, tired, and hungry I w...
1 comment
Read more