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I walk a fine line.

Y'all, it's been a rough couple of weeks. Like, ugly crying rough.

I walk a knife blade. I tend to lean towards one side, getting eyeball to eyeball with the anxiety monster. Sometimes she blinks, sometimes I do. But, lately I've fallen on the other side, in the dark forest of depression. I've got demons there to keep me company, but am not suited for this battle. 
An old demon coming in for a hug.
Yup. 
Watching the destruction in Australia reminded me of how small I am and made me feel so useless. I saw the pictures of animals dead or dying, hearing of how entire species have been wiped out. Then, the Puerto Rico Earthquake happened. Then, Corona Virus hits. And, on top of everything, the Impeachment trial happened. Regardless of which side you are on, we have a problem with division in our country and it does have a direct effect on our psyches. All in all, everything I was doing on a regular basis felt empty. I generally enjoy my job, but doing my daily tasks when the world is literally on fire felt, well, stupid. 

Isn't it awesome?
To make matters worse, my accountabil-a-buddy was out of commission. My husband got the raddest tattoo, and took time off from the gym to let it heal. Then, he got stuck with the flu. When depression hits, the best thing to do it work out and get some endorphins going. Unfortunately, it's also the hardest thing. Without Husband pushing me to get out there, it was really easy to climb into bed after work and not get back up until the next morning. 


Feeling cute after an ass-whopping on the bags.
But, the bell jar is lifting. This past week has been exponentially better. I've refocused my efforts on my diet. I'm trying a new strategy and have already seen some results (more to come, if the streak continues). I realized that my exercise routine (three days on, one day to rest), wasn't working for my schedule and have re-evaluated my goals. I donated to an Australian relief charity (link below). I'm getting better educated in politics, but this is a health blog, and that's a story for another time. 

 The moral of the story is that life is hard. $#!7 is going to happen. It's how you deal with it that matters.      

 January may have knocked me down, but I'm not tapping out. 

 To help animals in Australia please consider donating below:
Humane Society International

 If you also feel like you are in the depths of the depression forest and can't find your way out, please let this be your pinpoint of light:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
I've been stuck in places where happiness beyond comprehension, but remember there is always hope. Darkness isn't permanent. 

 For your own super cool tattoo, go visit the team at The Gilded Mermaid here in Charleston. Lil' Round worked with my husband, but the entire crew is incredibly talented.
https://www.facebook.com/pg/gildedmermaid/about/

 Photo Credits: 
Etienne Marais
https://www.pexels.com/@etienne-marais-54779

 AshutoshSonwani
https://www.pexels.com/@ashutoshsonwani
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